The First Year and The Marriage Contract

During the courting period in a relationship, it is important to consider and discuss these questions with your partner.

Will the wife use the husband’s last name, her own name, or a hyphenated name?

What will be the division of labor in the home? Who will do the cooking, cleaning, washing, repairs and so on?

Will you have children? If so, how many and when?

If you have children, how will you divide up the child care responsibilities?

What kind of discipline will you use?

What will you do about housing?

Who will be the primary breadwinner?

How will financial decisions be made and who will be responsible for paying bills?

What will be your relationship with extended family? How often will you visit them?

How will you observe holidays, particularly Christmas and Thanksgiving?

How will you address frustrations or concerns with your spouse?

Whose opinion will prevail if there is a difference in opinion?

How will you change the terms of this contract over the course of your marriage?

It is vital to get these main building blocks in first before you actually start your marriage. The first year of marriage will be hard by getting to know each other and learning how to live with each other. You may not think it's hard when you're in it, but looking back on my own marriage it has gotten so much better over the second year. We better understand how each other works. Granted, we still have a long way to go, but that first year of marriage has a lot of bumps in it that you need to be prepared for in order to have a successful marriage.